The Wishing Well

A couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said...

"Cool!...It really works"!

http://riddlesandjokes.com/

Dirty Words

One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".

Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said "cooking".

Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words "bitches and hoes". He went home and his father told him it meant "grandpa and grandma".

Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over.
Timmy answered the door with glee and says...
"Hey bitches and hoes! I'll take your shit to the closet cause dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey!

From: http://riddlesandjokes.com/

Have the farmer for meals

When I was a student I lived with a farmer and his wife. The first day I was there, one of the chickens died and we had chicken soup for dinner. The next day a sheep died and we had lamb chops. The following day a duck died and we had roast duck. The next day the farmer died, so I decided to leave.

Every year, sir.

Mr Apple was having an interview with the director of ABC. After the director had taken a look at his CV, he said :

• "Your birthday was on the 30th of February, Mr Apple?
• "Yes, sir."
• "What year?"
• "Oh, every year, sir,".

My Toy Horse

As Mrs Apple was cooking her dinner, her daughter Banana came into the kitchen crying loudly.

• " What's up?" Mrs Apple asked her daughter.
• "Brother Carrot broke my toy horse." answered Banana, crying louder.
• "How did that happen?"
  She stopped crying, looked down and said:
• "I hit him with it."